Top Ten Signs That You Might Be A Real Zombie

10.  You’ve recently cashed in your treasury bonds and bought stock in Bank of America and General Electric.

9.  You spent the weekend window-shopping for that new Chevy Volt.

8.  You decided to put off that Chevy Volt purchase until you get next year’s negative income tax payment.

7.  You’ve already made reservations for next year’s Twilight Tour in Forks, WA (…great way to break in that Chevy Volt, 40 miles at a time.)

6.  You’re planning to dress up your children as tiny little un-dead Tim Geitners for this year’s Halloween Party.

5.  You’re looking for that perfect Franken-Dodd costume for yourself.

4.  You’ve begun using Ben Bernanke’s timely phrase “unusually uncertain” instead of ”un-dead” in normal, everyday conversation.

3.  You believe that a well-considered and compassionate rationing plan will, in time, illuminate the real genius of Obama-care and help to preserve the essential life-like appearance of your aging parents.

2.  You smile at the boyish-Spicoli charm clearly evident whenever Sean Penn says things like:  “I was brought up in a country that relished fear-based religion, corrupt government and an entire white population living on stolen property that they murdered for and that is passed on from generation to generation.”

1.  You can’t wait for Michael Moore and Oliver Stone to work together.

One response to “Top Ten Signs That You Might Be A Real Zombie

  1. Pingback: Let’s Talk About Zombies, Shall We? « A Reasonable Life

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s